Commencement 2013 - LATER, not goodbye

After having been asked by our seniors to speak to them at their luncheon AND after attending my 31st SMC Commencement, I continue to refuse to say goodbye but merely say "LATER" as that is the way it is here at SMC, we continue to see our graduates for so many years and stay in touch with so many that LATER is so much better than goodbye.  Here are some pictures of many of my wonderful students from the Class of 2013....

Eric Jaukkuri

Liz Hamel

Courtney Dunne

Jonna Peryer

Lauren Herlihy

Michael Fay

Liv McCall

Nicole Adach

Senior Luncheon

Yesterday morning the seniors held their annual Senior Luncheon.  As Baccalaureate has been changed this year, this was the first time that a member of the staff and a member of the faculty were invited to speak at this luncheon.  David Barrowclough - Associate Registrar and I were selected by the seniors to speak with them at the luncheon.  Here is what I said to them:

Senior Class Luncheon

May 9, 2013

Remarks

Good morning and thank you for asking me to speak with you today.  It is an HONOR.  I have just a couple of messages for you:

1.        Look around you - When you arrived on this campus just a few short years ago, unless you had been on POW or had participated in a MOVE or WILDERNESS project, you knew only about a handful of people here – NOW, as you prepare to leave us, you know literally hundreds of people – you have met perhaps a life-partner, a best friend, a soul mate – you have made friendships here which will last you your lifetime.  In just a couple of days you will walk across the dais in Ross and the President who is a VERY GOOD MAN, will hand you your diploma – because you are polite and thoughtful you will shake his hand and say thank you.  You do not give him back all that WE have taught you, both in and outside of our classrooms – you do not give him back all of your good times, your bad times, your challenging and joyful times – all of the things that WE have taught you - you walk off that stage on Sunday armed with all that we have taught you AND the knowledge that you have been successful – you have been successful HERE and you will be successful when you leave here.  We need you to be successful when you leave here – WE need you to help create a better world than the one we are handing off to you.

The Dalai Lama has said that our prime purpose in this life is to help others.  And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.  These are very wise words.

2.       You sometimes don’t realize that while it is the natural order of things that YOU leave us and move outside of the SMC bubble into what others call the “real world”, WE stay behind and many of us will miss many of you – YOU have impacted US more than you probably realize – for that I thank you. 

3.       The third and final message I have for you is this – this is something that I stress in all of my classes – once you are aware, you are responsible – the challenge for you is to ask yourselves what YOU will do to apply what WE have all taught you – again, both in and outside of our classrooms?  Once you are aware you ARE responsible – we have done OUR best to make you more aware – now it is up to you to be responsible.

 

You are responsible for:

 

1.       Not making assumptions

 

2.       Only applying labels to soup cans

 

3.       Confronting racism, sexism, homophobia and ethnocentrism wherever and whenever you encounter it.

 

 

4.       Remembering that there IS a war going on and people are dying every day.

 

5.       Educating yourself on the politics of this country and making your vote count – gun control in this country must change and YOU are the ones who may have to make those changes.

 

You are responsible for:

 

6.       Confronting your own and society’s heterosexual assumption – when heteronormality IS the standard for society we marginalize everyone who doesn’t FIT your or society’s image of what is normal and this inflicts more PAIN than you can ever know.

 

7.       Asking for help when you need it

 

8.       Crying when you need to

 

9.       Trusting yourself

 

10.   Trusting others

 

11.   Believing in yourself

 

12.   SAVING our planet

 

13.   Celebrating our differences and not merely “accepting” our differences.

 

 

You are responsible for:

 

14.   Continuing to challenge yourselves to be the absolute BEST:        best friends, best brothers/sisters, best sons/daughters, best   mothers and fathers, best citizens of this country.

 

15.   Enjoying life – safely – please PROTECT YOURSELF by making wise decisions.

 

16.   Discarding the “mask” whenever you can

 

17.   Stopping violence against women - and everyone else – including yourself.

 

18.   Taking care of both your physical and mental health

 

19.   And finally, you are responsible for continuing to teach the “older” adults” in your life at least half as much as you have taught me…..

Thank you again for asking me to speak with you all today – please take good care and as the Dalai Lama ALSO says, - whenever you have a choice – CHOOSE KINDNESS. 

 

Sam and Macklemore - an amazing story

On Thursday, the Student Association presented the College's Spring Concert - so many people worked hard to bring this concert here - the E-Board and especially Eric Jaukkuri and Caitlin-Shea Vantine who were co-secretaries of programming looked at several options and they chose Macklemore to perform.  I saw him on Saturday Night Live and the Conin O'Brien show and while I can't understand most of ANY rappers' lyrics, I did read up on him and found him to be a great choice for SMC - he had performed at Higher Ground in So. Burlington and it was an immediate sellout so I knew he would be popular here.  He has such a strong tolerance, acceptance of others and anti-drug message that his sometimes "rich" language doesn't really bother me.  We sold 2,000 tickets on campus and an additional 1,000 off campus so our goal of a sellout was reached. 
What I didn't know, is what an amazing human being he is.  One of my students, Justin Salls, who is in my Sports Psychology course asked if he could speak with me outside of the classroom on Thursday afternoon right before class.  This is unusual because most students just speak with me IN class - Justin is a great student and has added a lot to my class so I, of course agreed.  When we stepped outside he told me that his roommate and best friend had just been diagnosed with leukemia THIS WEEK and since he is now in the hospital BUT had really, really wanted to go to the concert Thursday night some of his friends had tried to arrange for Macklemore to go to the hospital to see Sam.  Justin told me that IF that was possible he was supposed to be there when this happened - he asked if it was alright with me IF he got the text message during class and had to leave - NOW, YOU have to realize that this IS the type of student we have here at SMC.  I so appreciated the respect he showed to me and the class by asking permission - AND, of course I "gave him permission."  He didn't get the text message during class BUT later on he sent me the picture from above of his friend Sam and Macklemore at the hospital.  The concert was amazing and while again, I couldn't understand many of his lyrics, he did ask for a moment of silence for folks to send good vibes to SAM.  http://www.hiphopdx.com/m/index.php?s=news&id=23719 the backstory of why Macklemore visited Sam is in the attached article.

These types of stories continue to give me hope for our world AND for our young people.  Thank you Eric and Caitlin, Grace Kelly(Director of Student Activities)  and Mark Litchfield Director of Special Events) , and all of our community for the great work you do. 

Today is our annual Spring Fling named P-Day - Sam's friends have asked folks to write SAM STRONG on their T-shirts to send a great message to Sam as he battles with this difficult diagnosis.  I have asked Justin to make sure that Sam knows how much support he has and that I send him MY thoughts and prayers too.  SAM STRONG.................

We finish the academic year on Wednesday so please hope for snow and cold winds through finals - just joking, although I often comment at this time of year that as the temperatures rise, the grade point averages fall :(  

Take care, be well and in addition to keeping Sam in YOUR thoughts and prayers, as I always do, I ask for your thoughts and prayers for all of the members of our military and our veterans.

Dave

Honors Research Presentations

Yesterday afternoon the Psychology Department hosted our annual Honors Research Presentations.  Three of our senior psychology majors presented the research they have been working on for the past year.  Professor Ari Kirshenbaum is shown next to Michael Fay whose study is entitled "Acetylcholine, Nicotine and Depression:  What Rats Can Teach Us About Resolving Tobacco Withdrawal" - Megan Olsen and Natalie Zimmer both worked with Professor Melissa VanderKaay Tomasulo on their research - Megan's is entitled "Cigarette Use and Stress- Induced Cardiovascular Reactivity:" The Influence of Environmental Enrichment in Early Childhood" and Natalie's title is "Coping Styles and Stress- Induced Cardiovascular Reactivity Among Habitual, Intermittent, and Non-Smokers" - it is always so rewarding to watch these honors presentations and everyone there was impressed with the research our students had done.  We also inducted 17 new members into Psi Chi which is the International Honor Society of Psychology - congratulations to all of the new  - Inductees.  Today is the College-wide Symposium and many of our senior psychology majors presented their posters which depict either their senior research, or their Practicum Site Presentations.  With over 250 accepted students AND their parents on campus today PLUS so many people who wanted to see the results of student work this place is packed with energy and enthusiasm.  I am heading over to the lacrosse game in a few minutes to watch our men's lax team as they hopefully continue their amazing streak of wins - GO PURPLE KNIGHTS.

 

Classes are almost over with for this academic year and hopefully everyone will successfully complete their final projects/reports/assignments - Please take good care everyone and, as always, please keep all of the members of our military, our veterans and their families in your thoughts and prayers AND today, please also keep those hurt or wounded in the Boston Marathon tragedy AND those killed in your thoughts and prayers AND our gratitude to all of the police, firefighters, first responders and those who worked so hard to keep everyone safe during the past several days in Boston cannot be expressed enough - it has been a frightening several days BUT as anyone who knows anything about Boston well knows - BOSTON STRONG is NOT just a catch-phrase......

Dave

Two weeks are already over with

It always amazes me how quickly second semester goes.  We have just finished our second week of classes and mine are excellent.  Here are a couple of shots from my Men & Masculinities class which meets Mondays from 5 - 8 - all seniors, I have 13 men and 13 women.  This class and essays that my students have written over the years in response to my challenge to them to write "How My Father Influenced My View Of What A Man Is" are the subject of a new book which is at my publishers right now.  It will hopefully be out by Father's Day and is titled:  "I Wish He's Taught Me How To Shave."

I was in Grapevine, Texas most of our first week of classes, attending the NCAA National Convention.  As the College's Faculty Athletics Representative, I serve as the liaison between the academic side of SMC and the athletic side.  This is a very rewarding job and it is fun to see how well OUR students do both academically and athletically.  I always, along with Geri Knortz, our Athletic Director, get to represent SMC at this Convention and I always learn so much.

On Friday I was part of a panel of SMC faculty who spoke with a17 high school guidance counselors.  Each year this group travels to Vermont and visits Champlain College, The University of Vermont and Saint Michael's College.  After the panel I was on where four of us spoke of our interactions with our students and how our research/teaching works so well BECAUSE of our students, I joined others at a dinner with this group and it was very rewarding to hear folks from New York, Michigan, So. Carolina and even as far away as Colorado express how impressed they are with SMC.

Take care, be well, and as always, PLEASE keep all of the members of our military and their families and all of our veterans in your thoughts and prayers.  My M&M class is looking at how WAR influences our views of masculinity and we are reading both WAR by Sebastian Junger and The Lonely Soldier by Helen Benedict - we cannot forget that there is still a war going on in Afghanistan.

Thoughts on CT

I am in the office this morning because I wanted to send a message to some of my students.  My Practicum class has 15 seniors who are out in the community working 8 - 10 hours a week at a variety of sites.  They are an amazing group of young people and as you will see from my email to them this morning, I just wanted to share some thoughts with them about the tragic events in Newtown, CT yesterday:

Good morning everyone - no, I am not in the office this Saturday morning checking on your Journal entries -

I have however been thinking a lot about all of you since the tragic news from Newtown, CT has filled our lives. I seldom wish that the semester goes beyond our ending time but found myself wishing that we were still in session yesterday so that we could all gather and talk about the events that unfolded yesterday and to LISTEN to each other as we all struggle to make sense of the senseless. I posted something on Facebook last night that I have, unfortunately posted too many times over the past couple of years and that was that it IS ALRIGHT to NOT follow every minute detail of such a horrendous human tragedy - it is so easy to become so caught up in the emotions of the event that we are literally unable to function. Those of us who have chosen this profession dedicate our lives to helping others so find it incomprehensible that anyone would choose to hurt and/or destroy others - WE try to make sense out of something that makes NO SENSE now and will, most likely, never make any sense. We all want an answer to the question WHY yet know at some level that that too has an inadequate response.

Watching the President of the United States tearing up during his statement to the nation yesterday is unprecedented - I have never seen something like that in all of my years yet he spoke for all of us when he said that we have broken hearts. He spoke, not only as our President, but as a father - WE don't have to be fathers (nor Presidents) to have similar emotions. Those of you who work in schools or who work with young people, especially will be impacted beyond what your peers are - WE all ask "what would we do?" if we were ever confronted by similar situations in a classroom or our school. Ever since Virginia Tech, I have had a "plan" for protecting YOU should anything like that happen here on our campus in our classroom. Reports are that the principal, a teacher and the school psychologist were among those killed. At a time when "some" have chosen to denigrate teaching and "some" have chosen to speak negatively of the impact that teachers today have and at a time when "some" want to cut down the number of teachers in our schools, to cut back on mental health services for young people and who want to cut funding for education across the country, these people in Newtown, CT only wanted to protect their students.

Please take good care of yourselves, talk with your family and friends about what YOU are feeling about all of this and, while I KNOW that you tire of my telling you what a difference each of YOU make in your setting, be it with senior citizens, on a telephone hotline, working with those addicted to drugs, helping others deal with pain, listening to someone who is mentally ill OR working with incarcerated/protected youth OR working with kids in schools - YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE........ please don't forget that.

Peace
Dave

AN amazing speaker and Classes are over for the semester BUT......

Yes, classes are over for the semester BUT it IS Saturday morning and I AM in the office grading papers and reviewing journal entries for all of my classes.  I took this picture (see below) the other late afternoon as I was leaving here and heading over to the Ross Sports Center to watch our women's basketball game - Cara Deroy and Kayla Carnell are on the team and in my classes so it is always fun to see them in action on the basketball court.  This afternoon, after more grading and journal readings, I will head to McCarthy Art Center to listen to Mallory Hyland who is also in one of my classes and who is a member of a vocal group that is presenting their concert.  Tonight I MAY head back to Ross to listen to the very funny comedian from the Daily Show - John Hodgman (remember him from the PC v Apple commercials - he was the PC man). Busy times with finals beginning on Monday morning.  I continue to be amazed at just how fast semesters are flying by these days. 

 

There is always so much for US to do and for our students to do.  This past Wednesday we had an amazing speaker.  "Dr. Chloe Schwenke is the Senior Advisor for LGBT Policy (global) and the Senior Advisor on Democracy, Human Rights and Governance(Africa) at the US Agency for International Development (USAID), which is a senior political appointment by the Obama Administration." She is also an amazing speaker and a warm and genuine human being who gave a riveting talk to a good sized crowd before joining some of us for a nice dinner with a small group from campus.  She spoke in classes, spent time with our students in the Center for Women and Gender and as my students said, "blew them away." As one of three transgendered people in the Obama Administration, her presentation, sponsored by our Common Ground helped all of us who met her open our minds - even, if for some, it was just a little bit, our minds WERE opened as she is just such an honest and genuine and spiritual person who cares so deeply about others and puts her "talk" into a "walk" through her efforts for the Obama Administration.  Thank you Chloe for sharing your insights with us.

 

Back to the grading - please take good care, be well and, as always, PLEASE keep all of the members of our military and all of our veterans in your thoughts and prayers as WE all enter the Christmas season and THEY are still dealing with the sometimes daily reality of war.

 

Dave